For years I carried a condom in my wallet.
Then, when I finally needed it, I opened it up, and it looked like a bunch of shredded rubber bands.
Then I met this woman. We dated, and she was always asking me for money. Twice I caught her getting in my wallet. She was cold-hearted and never wanted sex.
That’s when it occurred to me that this women was just like my old condom.
Always in my wallet, never on my wiener.