He Ain’t What He Used to Be

Standard

In my prime I could eat six tacos with hot sauce, then do cartwheels and summersaults with no ill effects.
Now, if I were to eat six tacos with hot sauce, I would have to do three things:

  1. Call 911 and scream, “I’ve been poisoned!”
  2. Make sure there is a clear path to a bathroom with working fan.
  3. Spend the rest of the evening lying down, except for when I am sitting (see #2).
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