The Freshman Lifestyle

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To live like I lived my first year at the University of Maryland would kill most people.
My morning regimen of bong hits was followed by brunch at the dining hall. This meal might consist of three cheeseburgers, french fries with cheese sauce, lots of catsup, assorted desserts, and a stacked sandwich from a bar that had everything a fat guy loves.
After brunch, more bong hits and beers. My belly grew so fast that, to my horror, I looked in the mirror one day and six squiggly lines were closing in on my belly button. Whenever I see anything like this on my body, I am always certain that it’s stage four cancer. It wasn’t until six months later that a doctor told me they were stretch marks.
Six months of worry and overeating had turned me into a fat basket case.
I am one to carry on though.

Nearly forty years have gone by and my lifestyle has only changed a little for the better. I have never wanted to grow up or to grow old, and I may achieve both goals.

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