I am thankful for finally being able to go the bathroom and take the pressure off my flaming hemorrhoids.
I am thankful for my handsome dog, Louie.
He throws up a yellow foam, which stains the carpet instantly, and he’s done that in maybe 100 spots. I love him, and I’m thankful for him even when I find three or four dried-up old dookies in a hidden spot, and I wondered all week long why I smelt so bad.
I am thankful that my car is running so well even with the check engine light on. This is a gentle reminder that my Volkswagen may need a thousand dollars worth of repairs.
I am thankful for my Marijuana. As a teenager, I asked my mother if she knew what was wrong with pot. She said it caused me to eat so much. No, Mom, the buzz wears off. That’s what’s wrong with it. Finally I am thankful that we have running water. If I don’t get a shower every 24 hours, I start to look and smell like Bigfoot. The neighbors are hunters, and they never liked me anyway.