I’ve worked over forty-five jobs in the Frederick County area alone, which gives me a wide range of work experience. I now command salaries of up to nine dollars an hour.
At my last job, my boss, Jena, a rather attractive woman asked me to please get to work. I winked at her and said, “Jena, there is nothing wrong with getting a little behind.”
That was my last day there.
I do have marketing experience, having sold jewelry, real estate, fire alarms, frozen steaks, furniture, and marijuana. None of these jobs was very lucrative, but selling marijuana did help me to get laid once.
One of my qualities is that I take those jobs that require mindless labor and no responsibility, and enjoy them. I got tired of being a barn helper, though–that manure really stinks.
My main requirement now is that I work with women. My motto has always been: Work hard, play hard, but don’t play hard to get. I haven’t met my soul mate yet. If it wasn’t for a few promiscuous female co-workers, I wouldn’t have had much sex yet either.
I may be moving ten miles away to Washington County. This opens up a whole new job market. They have more barns there. When I look back at my past, I can see that my future has to be better. It can’t be any worse.
It is always darkest just before the light.