Polishing My Profile


My profile at snatch.com must need some work. Of the thirty-five women I emailed, only one has responded, saying that because of my email she was closing her account. All I said was that I would like to spend two weeks with her one night.

Maybe it is my picture. I did wear a muscle shirt and my Elton John pink-rimmed sunglasses. My once massive biceps looked like mashed potatoes and mini fat rolls. I need to firm up, ditch the shades, and maybe just take a picture of my body below the belt. That half of me doesn’t look so bloated.

Stating that my income level is less than twenty thousand is not good for attracting women who are divorced and struggling to raise children. I’m not going to change that.
I did state that one of my hobbies was to watch movies in the dark and touch myself. I think maybe this is something women would like to know after two dates–certainly not right away.
I stated that I wanted somebody who can shovel snow, change a tire, dance the Watusi, and be able to do these things in the nude.

I think with a little padding and twerking of my profile, I’m going to meet some gorgeous babes.


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