Heavyweight

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I was athletic in high school.
I was a heavyweight on the wrestling team. This sport required that you be in tip-top shape. I never reached my potential. I would smoke pot before practice. Once a teammate threw me on my stomach and a small cloud of pot smoke came out of me. The coaches were sniffing and looking around.

I never did get in shape. Once during a match, the seam in my pants ripped open revealing my butt crack to the cheerleaders. From the horrid expressions on their faces, I knew they didn’t like what they saw.

My football career was less impressive. I was the heaviest player on the team and the slowest. One hot summer I laid down on the tires we were supposed to be jumping through. The coach told the team to run over my fat ass. My back was sore for a week after that.
That was a long time ago. I didn’t let too much bother me in those days.

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