Fudge My Resume

Standard

I need to get a job fast.

I can type ten words a minute with less than three errors.
My communication skills are very good, especially when I am talking to good looking women.
My computer skills are getting better. I know how to cut and paste and delete.
I can use a calculator, and will require one if long division is required.
I have excellent cooking skills, and if I get an office position,
I’d like to be the one sent to go get lunch.
I do suffer memory loss.
I require a sturdy desk chair.
If my allergies act up, I break out in hives and my windpipe closes.
I’m not allowed back at one of my old jobs, and I miss them.

This time, I’m really going to fudge my resume.
Wish me luck.

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