At one time in my life I was morbidly obese.
I have taken off five or six pounds since then, and now I am just dangerously fat.
My doctors have warned me for years that I could have a stroke and end up looking like Stephen Hawking, the astronomy genius. My fifth grade teacher announced to the whole class that I would know a lot about astronomy–she said that all I had between my ears was outer space.
I don’t want to blow a gasket, so I rarely strain myself.
When I go to the gym, I really just sit around and look at different women.
My eyeballs are physically fit.
I’m going to die one day, and instead of a slow lingering death, I think I would rather get hit by a large train.