Dieting in Small Steps


Yes, I know how to diet. That’s not the problem.
Discipline, that’s the problem.
Once you start the plan you have to stick with it for a lifetime.

That is very difficult. I can do two weeks, I can do six months, but a lifetime change has not occurred in my lifetime. I now go to four doctors. I take seven medications, including three shots of expensive insulin. Today, I ate like a pregnant gorilla. It is a good thing I go to a shrink–I need my head examined.

They say take small steps to your goal. I take small steps to the refrigerator, and I’m not looking for a carrot. I want something substantial. I’m doomed to a world of double-extra-large underwear, man-boobs, and excessive gas.
God help me, I’m going to get something to eat.


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