Let Us Pray

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Dear Lord,
Please grant me twenty more years of life.
If you grant this, Lord, I will stop eating at Burger King and only take prescription drugs.
Grant me twenty years of good health and peace of mind.
I promise, as of today, I will stop watching Netflix and fast forwarding to the sexy parts of the movie, and I will never have a dirty thought again.
Dear Lord,
If you do this for me, I will go to church every Sunday.
I can’t promise that I will stay awake for the entire mass, but I am only human.
Amen

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