Home for the Aged


“Record Street Home, Chef Stephen speaking”, another phone call  and I’m trying to scramble three dozen eggs. ” This is Fran Dimpletush, and I am calling to verify that we are having knockwurst, and kraut, for the directors meeting on Tuesday “.  I tell her the weiners are on back order and she says hot dogs will do. Then Jackie, my server, pops her head in the kitchen and says Mrs Tonnage has fallen out of her wheelchair and is lying on the dining room floor. Mrs Tonnage is over 250 pounds and it takes all my strength and leverage to get her up. My eggs are burnt so its time two get three dozen more and get cracking.


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