Signs of Spring

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After I walked down a long hill into the woods, I had to turn around and walk back up the hill. This made me and the dog breath very hard. His breath smells awful–I chew gum.
I had to stop and give him a rest.
When the squirrel jumped out and grabbed a nut, I jumped up and ran for ten yards.
I didn’t know I could still run.
When wildlife goes crazy like that, I nearly pooped in my pants, which could have been significant weight loss.
Thank God I didn’t, because this was a long uphill walk and I would have had some third degree chafing by the end.

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