Eat More Fruit

Standard

Excruciating pain in my buttocks for three days.  The large Jamaican nurse says she is going to mix a pint of molasses and a pint of warm milk.  Insert a plastic tube into my tush and fill it with this mixture.  Life is really getting tough.  Why did that little tube feel so big?  Why did she leave the room?  I had been in serious pain for eight hours, so she could’ve said she was going to stick a vacuum cleaner in my butt and I would have agreed.  Shortly after she left, I was ready to explode all over that hospital bed.  I hit the call button 25 times then screamed, “Nurse, help!”

It took all the strength in my butt cheeks to hold back the explosion.  She popped back in the room.  Took a long time to put gloves on.  Pulled the tube out.  I ran down the hallway half-naked and barefoot.  It was one of the top five bowel movements of my life time. The noise alone was scary.  The pain was finally gone.  I thanked my nurse as if she had saved my life.  I am going to now eat more fruits and vegetables.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s