Here a Nip, There a Tuck

Standard

Since I am always in the doghouse with my girlfriend, I would like to find a plastic surgeon to marry.  A nip here, a tuck there, I could look twenty years younger. Then a kidney transplant, and replace other organs that  have taken a beating. I’ll be good as new and ready for sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

Advertisements

It’s Good For Him

Standard

I google things every day.  My dog spends a lot of time licking his privates.  Over an hour every day although I’ve not timed him.  I google this to find out how to stop him.  But, he has been doing this his entire lifetime and is now a senior. He keeps a good attitude. Always healthy and happy.

Looking Back

Standard

I looked back through my blog posts from several years ago and realized a few things:

  1. “But I can’t complain” is not something I’ve ever said.  I complain a lot.  I am the Complainer-in-Chief.
  2. I used to eat a lot more fast food than I do now.
  3. I still smoke marijuana, but now I might qualify for a legal prescription.