Love and Change

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I loved Candice as I love all good-looking women.  She told me she was leaving to head a new clinic on Forty. I told her I wanted to go there.  I couldn’t  take it that she was leaving, and, it was much closer to my house.  The Grand Opening party was interesting–Candice, who had shown no real interest in me before, gave me a tremendous hug in front of some local dignitaries.  She knew she was not going to see me again.  The new clinic doesn’t take my insurance.

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Heartbreak and Heartburn

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I didn’t think he was listening.  He asked how I lost all the weight.  I told him I had a bad break up with my live-in girlfriend.  I had constant gas pains and heartburn if I ate more than half a sandwich.  I stopped eating at the Burger King just down the hill.  I had conquered the munchies with fruit.  He said, no, I mean what diet were you on.  I told him I was on the get depressed and develop stomach troubles diet.  He said he had lost 30 pounds on Atkins once.  He now looked like a tub of lard.

Hold Me Tight

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She put a latex glove on my hand.  Her name is Suebee.  She is from Nepal.  When she pulls the one inch needle from my bicep she covers the hole with gauze.  She tapes it, then I put my finger on it so it can clot.  She walks away.

The blood streams out from under my finger. Suebee I’m bleeding, I yell.  By the time she comes back a puddle is forming under my arm.  More gauze, more pressing.  She smells like Lilies of the Valley. When I stand up I tell her, if it looks like I’m going to fall please wrap your arms around me tightly.  She says, shut up Stephen.

The Moments To Come

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Life is just a bunch of moments.  What if I kicked the bucket tomorrow?

Billions before me have already kicked it.  Nobody really knows where you are going. This mystery is very scary.  I will keep going, I will carry on.  Enjoying life whenever possible.

I have goals: I want to make whoopie with a woman at least one more time.  I want to get a kidney transplant and get my energy back.  I want to fall in love.  If I can achieve all three goals I expect many more happy moments.

This Beautiful Life

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We sat on a circle of rocks covered with moss a vivid green. The embers of our fire glowed red hot. High powered medicinal sour diesel OG kush lifted our spirits. A near nirvana moment. We celebrated the new season. Grateful for what we have. Strengthening our souls and minds for  whatever comes next.

Dark Country Roads

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In my high school we rural kids would go out to a dark country road and get wasted.  There was plenty of beer, usually I would have at least a twelve pack. We had weed, we had cocaine. When you couldn’t stand you could go sit in your car. Often a cheerleader, a quarterback or a big defensive tackle was right next to you. We were all bonding. There was a lot of love of living on that road.  Soon we would graduate, go our separate ways, not realizing those were our glory days.

How to Stop Time

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To stop time I get on a treadmill at Planet Fitness.  What seems like an hour passes just to find out that only five minutes have gone by.  At ten minutes I tried to smile at the women next to me.  I must have looked like a crazed, heavy-breathing, sweating maniac.  She smiled back.

Once a promising young athlete, now I just want to do thirty minutes without rolling back, falling off and laying on the floor.  Not in front of this nice lady, not today.