This is going to be the best day of my life…..despite kidney dialysis, a new, rather moody female friend, a future that may include a kidney transplant, and moving from my home of fifty years. I may resume a long dead sex life. I am not going to live as long as my father, who is ninety seven. The idea that I have a serious illness is making me live like today is going to be the best day of my life.
We heard the back door slam but didn’t stop jumping on the beds. A few short minutes later we heard a loud commanding voice: “Shut up you jerks.” Very loud considering it was coming from downstairs in the kitchen. The frenetic playing did stop when the voice was in the room with us: “Get the stick.” He said this incredibly loud with a look on his face scarier than a hockey mask. One of us had to go down on the back porch and grab the notorious stick, which held up a window, and gently hand it to him. Then back to our frozen-in-place position. He would hold the stick in the air and threaten us with it. He literally scared the shit out of my little brother once, who showed it to me while it was all still in his underpants.
My best friend told the police I beat her. They came to confiscate my guns. I loved her. I took care of her when she fell in the parking lot of the East street coffee shop and broke her wrist. I told them I had a BB gun. They left papers which she wrote and signed that I threw her down the stairs. She left in the Chevy Cruize I had co-signed a loan on. It took three months , lots of money and a Good Lawyer to rectify the situation. I loved her.
My mother was was going to die in the hospital. My brothers were their when she pointed at me and said in a scary voice, you are a liar. She said it three times. It creeped me out I said I hadn’t lied and I was not a liar. Then she sat up ,threw up, and said I was a big fat liar. I left the room, she was very worn down and out of her mind. I never watched a horror movie called The Exorcist again . It had been one of my favorites
Dialysis today so I have fuzzy thinking. My pot is called Green Crack–it also causes fuzzy thinking. Last night I cracked and got in line at Wendy’s at 11 pm. Two burgers and large fry then home to bed. Winter is a struggle. My addictions take over. Strangely, I am happy.
No Depression go away
I need to see the light of day
Sadness can have a grip on me
My own thoughts can set me free
Time is short I can’t waste it
Live my life as I see fit
I won’t let things get me down
Stop my bad thoughts from hanging around
No depression go away
I need to see the light of day
My expensive Boscov’s underwear are untidy in my old cherry dresser. They have never been straight. I haven’t the patience to finish the job–that has always been OK with me.
I’m not the boss though: even in my room, my dogs run things. Ruby, my Aussie has a bark so loud and shrill I must leave the room if she won’t stop. Louie the 14th, my Petite Basset Griffon Vendeen can have such a dreadful smell both breath and body that I have to clean and clean. It’s worth it to have their loving company and they don’t care about well-organized drawers.