Do you want to shave my legs? My roommate’s girlfriend was questioning me from across the room. She came out of the bathroom totally naked. My roommate was at work. I was stoned so my judgement was thrown off. Her smile, and what I knew of her past, led me to believe she wanted to make whoopie.
It was 1982, sex, drugs and rock and roll were a big part of my life then. My roommate was a crack head. This attractive girl would run up the street and get it for him. She was fearless. That afternoon she taught me things you don’t learn in school. I was 24 and nearly a virgin. Twenty minutes passed and I was as wiped out as if I had wrestled a bear. There are events from my past that I wish I could forget, but this is not one of them.
He moved to Tranquillity. I am walking around the house in my underwear. He is gone. I took the longest shower using way too much water, and every light and tv in the house is on. He is gone, and he left his booze and seven bottles of wine. He is gone. the house smells like high grade marijuana. He is gone. I don’t have to cook dinner, and I can go low-carb. I don’t have to stock cookies, bread or cherry pie.. He is gone , safe and settled. . I am free to do as I please. Hell Yes.
I forgot that Katia, and Maria, were coming to give me a price on cleaning our house.
When I opened my bathroom door to show them, the smell of burnt herbs hit us in the face. Katia said something in Spanish like “Stephen est loco-loco.”
I know a little Spanish, so I said, “Oh si.”
They laughed and said in very good English that they wanted 130 dollars.
Still thinking in Spanish, I thought that was “mucho dinero.”
At twelve I was catching a buzz with my cute neighbor in the barn.
My father yelled out the back door, “Stephen, get on the mower!”
Our tractor was a red 1948 Farmall Cub with a sickle bar, and it pulled three rotary mowers. Our five acres of grass also had trees, stumps, and groundhog holes.
Slightly miscalculating a turn, the sickle bar cut down Dad’s fruit-bearing cherry tree, and several small pine trees he had just planted.
I told him that, all at the same time, a ground hog crossed my path and a big horsefly bit me. I smacked my cheek a couple times to make it look red. The horsefly had caused the accident.
I waited until after he had his martini to tell him.
I have been putting my brain on cruise control lately, not really wanting to do any thinking.
I just sort of react to things, or, if I get motivated, I might Google something.
I can go for days like this, and that’s fine with me. Thinking has never been one of my strong points, especially when I was in college.