Spread Cheer


Elevator! Elevator! We got the shaft!  The cheerleaders are doing a bang up job tonight.  My prom date is co-captain. Her blond hair bobs into the air as she drops down to do a split.  Her bouncing skirt revealing for a split second something that I would never get.  My life is like that. You can’t always get what you want. I couldn’t get what I really needed.


In Search of Happiness


I am past forty, out of shape, and yet I am certain that there is a woman
out there who will make the fireworks go off.
I like blondes, brunettes, red heads, and gray haired women. No bald women please.
I like small butts, medium butts, and large butts. No extra large butts please.
As far as breasts go they can be any size or shape, and more than two is fine.

I’m just not choosy any more. I used to like women who were cute and bubbly.
Now I don’t care.
Intelligent, good. Not so smart, even better. I guess I am getting desperate.

What do I have to offer them?
I am poor, over the hill, and I can be a real jerk.
If I can help them to be happy, though, I’ll find a way.