Enjoy the Small Things

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People on dialysis can have what experts call “fuzzy thinking.”  I had this before dialysis so it doesn’t bother me.

I’ve learned to enjoy the small things in life.  Small bites of pizza, small shots of booze, and small breasts.  You never know what life is going to throw at you.  I think my girlfriend would like to throw bricks.  Fortunately my head can break brick and there would only be a small wound.  My aches and pains are rapidly trying to turn me into a old man. Thank goodness I retain the mind of a sixteen-year-old. That I hope never changes.

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The Birds and the Bees

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Ah springtime! The birds and the bees.
Love makes the world go round, and love of food made me get round.
Underneath a few inches of fat, the juices are still flowing.
I’m not as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was.
I’m going on vacation with an old flame in June, and,
if I play my cards right and get the booze flowing, we may go all the way.

The last time I had sex I was really scared–
I was all by myself in the dark.