My Roommates The Stinkbugs


I woke up this morning with a stinkbug in my hair. It farted and left a terrible smell.
I had to get up and shower immediately. I did get to smack it three times with a hammer and then burnt it with my lighter. I enjoyed this.
The nasty creatures have become a menace and are now my roommates.

The other day there was one on the bristles of my toothbrush. I shrieked like I always do when I’m startled and pitched the toothbrush into the un-flushed toilet.
The toothbrush was floating on top of a dookie–the stinkbug, captain of a stinking ship. I’m sure it thought I was attacking it with an out-of-this-world odor.
Oh well, there goes another one down the drain.
I am going to torture the next stinkbug. I tortured roommates before, but that was in college. I may pull a leg off or cover him with preparation H. Stinkbugs watch out: I’ve got insecticide, a hammer, tweezers, and a magnifying glass ready to go.


Indestructible Stink Bugs


The dreaded stinkbugs are back, and, once again caught off guard, I have no insecticide. 

So far I have sprayed them with mouthwash, Lysol, and placed an old pair of my underwear from the laundry hamper near the invaded window.  Nothing stops them!