Well a nickel is a nickel, yeah, yeah.

And a dime is a dime, yeah, yeah.

If you go to TJ, you know your doing fine, yeah, yeah.

Do that stuff, oh do that stuff.

The TJ cheerleaders were really looking good tonight. Much better than my ninth grade football team–we were getting beat 42 to 0.

One play late in the game, a bone-jarring tackle, left me unconscious lying flat on my back.  Apparently two cheerleaders walked over to check on me.  I woke up and was looking up at their bodies.  My friend, wide receiver, Snydo, said that when they put me in the ambulance, it looked like I had a stiffy.

This is what legends are made of.


The Joker Laughs Last


Oh my God, the school bully just pushed me and called me a pussy.
I’m in the seventh grade and he’s in the ninth grade. He has beaten up four of my classmates.
I have been in one fight with a fifth grade girl–it was a draw.

He wanted me to go in the bathroom with him. I must have had a death wish because I followed him in there. His brother and some other big redneck were in there too. They just started throwing punches, and I took a beating for about ten minutes.

Mr. Hershy, the English teacher, stepped into the bathroom. I threw one punch and split Rodney’s lip.
I walked out of the boys bathroom with little red marks on my face and a torn shirt. Rodney came out with blood dripping out of his mouth and more blood smeared on his face.
The rumor spread that I had beat up the bully.
What really happened has remained a secret until now.