Heartbreak and Heartburn

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I didn’t think he was listening.  He asked how I lost all the weight.  I told him I had a bad break up with my live-in girlfriend.  I had constant gas pains and heartburn if I ate more than half a sandwich.  I stopped eating at the Burger King just down the hill.  I had conquered the munchies with fruit.  He said, no, I mean what diet were you on.  I told him I was on the get depressed and develop stomach troubles diet.  He said he had lost 30 pounds on Atkins once.  He now looked like a tub of lard.

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Family Dinner Out

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Dinner with my brother and his daughter was at a fine dining establishment.  “The crab imperial looks good,” I say.  Only the 40 next to it is outrageous.  The face I make is one of horror.  I am buying tonight so I made light of the lofty prices.  I wondered, would my brother order the Surf and Turf at 65 dollars knowing that this was the only payment he might get for past and future debts? He would also be ordering for his daughter who does not like to be bothered with these details.  The waitress had put a small loaf of bread with honey butter in front of my niece. Her full attention was riveted on that home baked bread.  Always comfortable with these dinner guests, the only one missing was my brother’s wife.  We knew she would not want her daughter to have bread and butter.  The waitress was of above average looks so I was already calculating 20% of a high sum.  She was very good at bringing iced tea.  Three refills for my niece so far although I wasn’t counting.  Good times were had by all.

The Moments To Come

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Life is just a bunch of moments.  What if I kicked the bucket tomorrow?

Billions before me have already kicked it.  Nobody really knows where you are going. This mystery is very scary.  I will keep going, I will carry on.  Enjoying life whenever possible.

I have goals: I want to make whoopie with a woman at least one more time.  I want to get a kidney transplant and get my energy back.  I want to fall in love.  If I can achieve all three goals I expect many more happy moments.

Back to School, 1969

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My mom was very sleepy, up early for our back to school.  She made five bag lunches.  At lunch I saw that my bologna sandwich was missing the bologna.  My mom often shorted me. She knew I had gone in the kitchen late at night and ate the bologna meant for the next day’s lunch.

At an early age I was stealing from the pantry and fridge. My hunger was insatiable: Mom caught me in the kitchen and I quickly stuck a dripping peanut butter and jelly sandwich in my husky jeans pocket.  The misshapen PB&J had lint on it, but I just picked it off and ate it.

Food satisfied my soul. I never felt bad about getting more than my share.

A New Year

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This year I am going to act my age. I am going to be kind and generous, all the time. I am only going to eat lean meats, fruits,and vegetables. I am going to be proud of who I am, and forget what my family thinks of me. I’m going to break a sweat more often. I am going to stop looking at women as sex objects. I’m going to take all my meds, legal and illegal. I’m going to do all these things. This Year.

Achieving Butt Crack

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May I rest my finger on your butt crack? At ten years old I asked her ,because I had been smacked very hard before. I negotiated this move and It paid off. My hand never ventured inside of her jeans. This uncharted territory would have to wait until I was twelve and drunk. The reaction I got from  this simple laying of finger was to have a rocket ready to spit up. Amazing. Few things have affected my life more than this.

She is coming

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She has agreed to move in with me. I am going to clean my house, and brush my teeth regularly. She drinks white wine. I may pick up ten bottles. She does not like marijuana. I am quitting next week. She could be after my money. I don’t have any. She says that she loves me. I don’t know if that is true, but it is sure nice to hear.