The weight loss instructor looked straight at me in the group of about nine big fat women. “Stephen do you love yourself?”
They were all waiting for a goofy reply. I looked up with sadness in my eyes and said I did love myself, sometimes late at night. Then I rolled my eyes and looked guilty. This got a good laugh. We lost no weight Easter week.
The needles are turning my once perfect arm into a freakish, deformed, bumpy scar. The constant increased blood flow to that part of my body is hurting blood flow to my brain and other important organs. After a treatment my thinking is fuzzy. Then a puff of the medicinal and I don’t care anymore until morning.
Do not say I love you unless you mean it. This phrase can be an evil tool used to get control of your mind, body, and money. Now that my grandmothers are gone and since I have no kids, when anybody else says it, it just doesn’t feel genuine. That’s why when I see a mirror, I sometimes say, I love you. I know that’s real.
I choke up when it comes time to give the toast. I would like to give a toast since it is my birthday. I turn to catch her eye and raise my glass.
Here’s to Jo. She keeps me going. She has stayed two years with a man who had it easy and now has it hard.
I could not have made it without her presence. She can always stay.
As Heavyweight for the TJ Patriots, I took on all comers. Jim was a big farm-raised brute from Westminster, six feet six and three hundred pounds. I was five feet seven, two hundred twenty-five pounds soaking wet. This brute had a thick beard and so did his mother in the stands.
I had eaten a whole sub in the locker room given to me by our 98 pounder. I didn’t feel like wrestling. When my teammates showed me who I had to wrestle I made a scared look and let out a fart. I was always clowning. The brute actually caused me to lose consciousness somewhere in the third round. Everybody thought I was clowning. When I came to I gave a thumbs up and hugged one of the cheerleaders.
The Joking Life 