Untidy Drawers

My expensive Boscov’s underwear are untidy in my old cherry dresser. They have never been straight.  I haven’t the patience to finish the job–that has always been OK with me.

I’m not the boss though: even in my room, my dogs run things.  Ruby, my Aussie has a bark so loud and shrill I must leave the room if she won’t stop.  Louie the 14th, my Petite Basset Griffon Vendeen can have such a dreadful smell both breath and body that I have to clean and clean.  It’s worth it to have their loving company and they don’t care about well-organized drawers.

Having It All

In the sixties all you needed was love.

In 2018 I need love, medicine, money, cell phone, more money, and a weapon.  I have all of these.  True love from Louie, my dog.  Medicine from various healers.  I don’t work anymore but love to spend money.  My love life and my cell phone need a charge.  My weapons are a BB gun, a shovel and a frying pan.

I have it all for now.

Get Up to Get Down

Exercise saved my life.  I do a dead lift out of bed every morning.  Then I do deep bend overs in the shower to let the water shoot everywhere. Then I do a couple pull ups: I pull up my underwear, then pull up my pants.  A really extended bend over when I tie my shoes.  I have to remember to breath during this stretch or when I stand up I see stars–I have ended up on the floor several times.

Sometimes from this workout I am exhausted and lay back down to recover.

It’s Good For Him

I google things every day.  My dog spends a lot of time licking his privates.  Over an hour every day although I’ve not timed him.  I google this to find out how to stop him.  But, he has been doing this his entire lifetime and is now a senior. He keeps a good attitude. Always healthy and happy.

Looking Back

I looked back through my blog posts from several years ago and realized a few things:

1. “But I can’t complain” is not something I’ve ever said.  I complain a lot.  I am the Complainer-in-Chief.
2. I used to eat a lot more fast food than I do now.
3. I still smoke marijuana, but now I might qualify for a legal prescription.

 

Tuesdays are for Louie

Louie was my mother’s dog.  When she died, Louie became my father’s dog.  When Bob, my dad, went into assisted living, Louie became my dog.  Every Tuesday I take Louie to see my dad.  I also might take a couple chocolate éclairs.

You just have to enjoy life.  My dad doesn’t say much.  He can still devour an éclair very quickly.

Grateful

I am grateful for my home. It provides me shelter from an often cruel world.

I am grateful for my dog. He gives me unconditional love like no other.
I am grateful for my car. Without it I might have to call Uber.
I am grateful for my food. Nothing has provided more satisfaction in my life than food.
I am grateful for Netflix. Since quitting pot, Netflix has helped me escape reality.
I am grateful to be alive. Passing away and going to my eternal rest is not yet appealing.

Comfort Zone

For the last seven years, my partner in bed has been my dog, Louie.  I put up with his horrendous breath, and he puts up with my snoring.  He sleeps with his rear end pushed against mine, and we both emit loudly upon awakening, which warms us on cold mornings.  My girlfriend won’t sleep in the same room with me. My dog is there every night.  If I pet him a couple times, he will lick himself for nearly an hour. I have to smack him and tell him to stop it…but, I have unconditional love for Louie. I like my girlfriend too.

Have I Been Nice Enough?

Santa is coming.  I hope he brings me a new car for Christmas.  The check engine light has been on in my car for a few years.  It is German-made, too complicated to fix, or maybe I’m projecting.  My dog, Louie the fourteenth, is my main passenger, which is why my swanky dash is covered with dog hair. We travel country roads every day and when he sees a cow, he barks and licks his lips.  When we get to the park he jumps from back seat to front seat eager to get out and walk and have a dooky.  If someone is watching I just keep pulling him forward while he is going because I’m not picking it up.  What’s one dog turd going to hurt when there is duck poop everywhere? The sun is out, the sky is blue, we are on our walk, it’s a good day.

Louie and Daisy

I used to have to keep a close eye on my dog, Louie.  Whenever he got out without his leash on, he’d run out of sight and wouldn’t come back.  I’d have to grab some treats and drive after him, and there’s something I hate about driving at a crawl down the street yelling “Louuuuuuie” over and over.

Then my new roommate moved in with her dog Daisy. Since Daisy moved in, I don’t have to worry about Louie straying too far from home anymore.  He stays right by her side.

It’s good to know that the roommate situation has worked out for the both of us.