My Only Friend, The End

Standard

In April I will turn 60. Hell, I am still waiting for puberty to wrap up. I have loved–it was mostly for animals–humans and dogs.  When I was younger I smelled fresher, but now PU.

If my health insurance gets canceled that’s it.  I am going to take 40 Ambien, sixteen shots of Tequila, eat 1 lb of bad sushi, then eat two whole Dominos large pizzas with extra cheese and four toppings.  If that doesn’t kill me nothing will. I just hope I don’t wake up from that.

Advertisements

Having It All

Standard

In the sixties all you needed was love.

In 2018 I need love, medicine, money, cell phone, more money, and a weapon.  I have all of these.  True love from Louie, my dog.  Medicine from various healers.  I don’t work anymore but love to spend money.  My love life and my cell phone need a charge.  My weapons are a BB gun, a shovel and a frying pan.

I have it all for now.

It’s Good For Him

Standard

I google things every day.  My dog spends a lot of time licking his privates.  Over an hour every day although I’ve not timed him.  I google this to find out how to stop him.  But, he has been doing this his entire lifetime and is now a senior. He keeps a good attitude. Always healthy and happy.

Tuesdays are for Louie

Standard

Louie was my mother’s dog.  When she died, Louie became my father’s dog.  When Bob, my dad, went into assisted living, Louie became my dog.  Every Tuesday I take Louie to see my dad.  I also might take a couple chocolate éclairs.

You just have to enjoy life.  My dad doesn’t say much.  He can still devour an éclair very quickly.

Louie and Daisy

Standard

I used to have to keep a close eye on my dog, Louie.  Whenever he got out without his leash on, he’d run out of sight and wouldn’t come back.  I’d have to grab some treats and drive after him, and there’s something I hate about driving at a crawl down the street yelling “Louuuuuuie” over and over.

Then my new roommate moved in with her dog Daisy. Since Daisy moved in, I don’t have to worry about Louie straying too far from home anymore.  He stays right by her side.

It’s good to know that the roommate situation has worked out for the both of us.

Oh hell

Standard

A horrible message on my cell this morning. ” Stephen, this is Lulu, can you work for me tomorrow, I hurt my back. “Oh hell , shit, and damn, that women comes up with more excuses not to work. I had my whole day planned. Take a shower, and walk the dog. I was going to sleep in, and go out to lunch. Now I am going to get up at 5:30, drive to town, cook breakfast,lunch,and dinner for the twenty five residents who like to complain. Then come home too tired to clean up the dog dookies my best friend will leave me because he doesn’t like to be alone. Oh hell. shit, and damn.

Louie and God

Standard

“Louie, what are you doing down there?”
When I woke this morning, Louie, my Petite Basset was not next to me in bed. He was laying beside the bed, on top of my blankets that I must have tossed during a rough night’s sleep. I must have tossed Louie too. I saw his chest moving and thanked the Lord I didn’t hurt him. His eyes opened, he saw me, and his tail beat the blanket. He is glad to see me.
First he slept with mom, she is gone. Dad kicked him out of bed, because he likes to snuggle his rear end up against you for warmth. Now he sleeps with me. I’m not a good sleeper, and I think Louie is developing bags under his eyes like mine.
Someone asked me once, did I know that dog spelled backwards is God.
I believe for me it may be.