Back in the Doghouse

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I’m in the doghouse again.

I have wounded my best friend.

I will have to be charming

to hold her hand again.

Maybe some flowers or money,

whatever it takes to get back my honey.

Life is too short, I fear:

come back to me, my dear.

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Do You Love Yourself?

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The weight loss instructor looked straight at me in the group of about nine big fat women. “Stephen do you love yourself?”

They were all waiting for a goofy reply.  I looked up with sadness in my eyes and said I did love myself, sometimes late at night.  Then I rolled my eyes and looked guilty.  This got a good laugh. We lost no weight Easter week.

I Love Myself

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Do not say I love you unless you mean it.  This phrase can be an evil tool used to get control of your mind, body, and money.  Now that my grandmothers are gone and since I have no kids, when anybody else says it, it just doesn’t feel genuine.  That’s why when I see a mirror, I sometimes say, I love you.  I know that’s real.

A Toast to Real Love

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I choke up when it comes time to give the toast.  I would like to give a toast since it is my birthday.  I turn to catch her eye and raise my glass.

Here’s to Jo.  She keeps me going.  She has stayed two years with a man who had it easy and now has it hard.

I could not have made it without her presence.  She can always stay.

Wild Irish Rose

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She is Irish, a beauty with red hair.  I say, “You are the prettiest flower in this garden,” as I look around the clinic with 20 more women milling about.

“Thank you, that was nice.”

Last week she told me that she was going through a nasty separation.  I think she might be rich. I have a girlfriend, but I always keep my options open.  I am not the man I once was, but I am as good once as I ever was.

Having It All

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In the sixties all you needed was love.

In 2018 I need love, medicine, money, cell phone, more money, and a weapon.  I have all of these.  True love from Louie, my dog.  Medicine from various healers.  I don’t work anymore but love to spend money.  My love life and my cell phone need a charge.  My weapons are a BB gun, a shovel and a frying pan.

I have it all for now.

Love and Marriage

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We are not yet married but she has already assumed the role of one who must be obeyed.  I cringe when she talks of pain in her back and my world spirals down like a Netflix horror movie.  As we lie in bed, the sheets move and bad smells happen.  She does sometimes say excuse me in a creepy voice. 

We speak.  She says, “the dog is peeing on the coat you left on the floor. You are a slob.”

We are looking forward to marriage.