I loved Candice as I love all good-looking women. She told me she was leaving to head a new clinic on Forty. I told her I wanted to go there. I couldn’t take it that she was leaving, and, it was much closer to my house. The Grand Opening party was interesting–Candice, who had shown no real interest in me before, gave me a tremendous hug in front of some local dignitaries. She knew she was not going to see me again. The new clinic doesn’t take my insurance.
I didn’t think he was listening. He asked how I lost all the weight. I told him I had a bad break up with my live-in girlfriend. I had constant gas pains and heartburn if I ate more than half a sandwich. I stopped eating at the Burger King just down the hill. I had conquered the munchies with fruit. He said, no, I mean what diet were you on. I told him I was on the get depressed and develop stomach troubles diet. He said he had lost 30 pounds on Atkins once. He now looked like a tub of lard.
Life is just a bunch of moments. What if I kicked the bucket tomorrow?
Billions before me have already kicked it. Nobody really knows where you are going. This mystery is very scary. I will keep going, I will carry on. Enjoying life whenever possible.
I have goals: I want to make whoopie with a woman at least one more time. I want to get a kidney transplant and get my energy back. I want to fall in love. If I can achieve all three goals I expect many more happy moments.
When a mans an empty kettle
He should be on his mettle
and yet I’m torn apart.
Just because I’m presumin
That I could be human
If I only had a kidney.
I’d be tender I’d be gentle
and awful sentimental
regarding love and art.
I’d be friends with the sparrows
and the boy who shoots the arrows,
If I only had a kidney.
Just to register emotion, jealousy, devotion
and really feel the part
I could stay young and chipper
and I’d lock it with a zipper
If I only had a kidney
I’m in the doghouse again.
I have wounded my best friend.
I will have to be charming
to hold her hand again.
Maybe some flowers or money,
whatever it takes to get back my honey.
Life is too short, I fear:
come back to me, my dear.
The weight loss instructor looked straight at me in the group of about nine big fat women. “Stephen do you love yourself?”
They were all waiting for a goofy reply. I looked up with sadness in my eyes and said I did love myself, sometimes late at night. Then I rolled my eyes and looked guilty. This got a good laugh. We lost no weight Easter week.
Do not say I love you unless you mean it. This phrase can be an evil tool used to get control of your mind, body, and money. Now that my grandmothers are gone and since I have no kids, when anybody else says it, it just doesn’t feel genuine. That’s why when I see a mirror, I sometimes say, I love you. I know that’s real.