Spider Crickets

Standard

Two years back I went through the trap door to our ancient basement.  I wanted to check on the oil, being aware of snakes and mice that live down there.  Lining the wall near the furnace was a group of large creepy bugs possibly from the dinosaur era.  I turned to run when one of them jumped onto my shoulder.  I had not felt fear like this since I shit my pants on Thanksgiving.  I stumbled up the creaky steps, smacking at the creature and screaming. Slamming the trap door, I sprayed some Raid bug spray through the crack in the door.  I hoped this would be the end of these carnivorous, hairy eight-legged spider crickets.

Last night to my horror, two of these freaky jumpers casually walked across my kitchen floor during dinner.  My girlfriend made short work of them with a frying pan while I watched standing on a chair.  Later that night I felt a tickle near my groin inside my sweatpants which I had picked up off the floor and put on.  I dropped my pants with amazing speed.  The largest spider cricket yet fell onto the floor.  Once again I screamed.  The thought that these man-eating creatures every bit as big as a nickel were now upstairs and in the underwear region of my pants was too much for me.  Even after taking two strong sleep medications I lay eyes wide open with my flashlight, a baseball bat and garlic bulbs by my side.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s