golf

Giving Up Golf

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Due to the recession and vision issues, I have given up golf.
I can’t see my balls.
Membership fees and greens fees take big bucks.

I still told Loretta at work that I was wearing my golfing underwear–
–yes, they have eighteen holes.

A Light Diet

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I have been lying to myself for forty years.
My 1200 calorie low carb. diet never materialized.
I did manage to lose six pounds which caused my pants to instantly drop in the banana section of Weis market. I was wearing my golf underwear–they had eighteen holes. They were once bright white but that was years ago.
My idea that I was going to work my way up to jogging two miles was another lie. I get very dizzy just bending over and tying my shoes. I walked a mile one day and was so hungry afterward I ate lunch twice.
Stress of everyday living has me snacking all night on comfort foods: chocolate, donuts, cheese Danish, etc. I have noticed that I eat very little between the hour of 6am and 7am.

I may be on a light diet:
when it’s light out I start eating.

Visiting Grandma in Miami

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We drove for twelve hours to get to Miami. We left my frozen hometown of Frederick, Maryland for the fun and sun, and a visit to my grandmother’s.
She lived in an apartment off the main drag. We would sit on her front steps and count the number of Rolls Royces that drove by. I was thirteen and fascinated by the women, the wealth and the beach.

Grandma said that we were being treated to dinner at Benihana’s by her rich friend, Agnes, who lived in Coconut Grove, and that we must be on our best behavior.
Agnes’s home was incredible. There was a maid who was raking the plush carpet all in one direction. She said, “That’s the way Miss Agnes likes it.”
The chef at Benihana’s put on a dazzling display with knives and spatulas. He could cook, chop, flip a shrimp in the air, and make it land precisely where he wanted it. He put one in my mouth–incredible.

Grandma asked Agnes if Ben, her husband, still played golf. She said, “No, he had to give up golf. He could not see his balls.”
This caused me and my brothers to bust out in laughter. Grandma was furious, until she saw Agnes laughing too, and then she joined us in our laughter.